14:14
The Geek Mill.
Duke Nukem Forever
"It's time to kick ass and chew bumble gum...and I'm all outta gum..."
Let me take you back to November 16th 1997 - I was but a 13 year old boy with all the hopes and dreams in the world, Girls were new to me and scared the crap out of me (still do truth be told) and the fastest CPU I was using was a Pentium 1 166mhz.
On to the game...
Duke Nukem hit consoles for the very first time and GT Interactive made a very wise choice and chose the Nintendo 64 as their weapon of choice for showing of Mr Nukem on the big screen...well, 20" CRT at the time...but hey, was big for me.
"What 13yr old...Hell, what 25yr old would not buy this game purely on the cover"
I remember laughing / jumping / be very frustrated with the game (maybe down to my 13 year old brain not being able to work out which sequence to press the buttons in) anyhow...the 'lure' that kept me coming back - apart from the pipe bombs and the biker pigs...was the pixelated blood, the dry 'adult' humor and of course...the gorgeous stripper women!
"Man...Look at those thighs...."
Now you may be thinking to yourself, how can you fancy her? Well I will tell you....I was 13...it was 1997, we had 56k internet and porn was just this golden pot at the end of the rainbow. Nowadays, that golden pot is well spent and im in debt...but hey, this is the 21st century....Which brings me nicely onto...
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem hits the shelves on 3rd May on all major platforms even Playstation 3 (takes a moment for the 360 cheers to calm down).
When this game hits, I want to put it in my 360 and feel the same feeling of excitement, nervousness, happiness I felt when putting in and playing Duke Nukem 64 alone or with my friends. This game has been 12 years in the making, forget all the other half arsed versions that have been distributed as some sort of 'stop gap' for the real deal. This version IS THE REAL DEAL
This game will easily become a classic of new and old gamers alike if they merely improved the graphics and rehashed the old storyline, alas, this of course will not happen and we will be presented with a 21st century Duke, a 21st century story and a 21st century team of geeks behind the scene....GOD HELP THEM if they get it wrong. (Lets just hope these geeks were once that 13yr old boy lusting after the stripper - in between killing the pigs of course)
They need to keep the adult humor, the downright over the top gore, the references to a 101 different films and TV shows, they need to NOT take themselves seriously.
Saying all this however, I still have very high hopes for this game and I WILL be purchasing this and for better or worse...I shall review it!
Now, May 3rd is not far away at all...Especially with Homefront being released between now and then. Below is a link to the what I call 'Limited Edition' or 'Collectors Version'
Now, with a 'Collectors Edition' with a name such as 'Balls of Steel' I have high hopes for being able to tick the 'Fun' and 'Don't take ourselves seriously' tick boxes.
Now at £64...It clearly is more than the standard £39.99 game price, however, I actually think, this time, it is indeed worth it, I mean, look at that bust of Duke!
Who doesnt want him on their geek shelf? I for one, certainly do.
Now enough of my chatter, I will leave you with a trailer for Duke Nukem Forever....Enjoy guys and girls.
Oh...and remember your pack of gum.
"Damn it, why do they always take the hot ones?"
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